Once every four years, the peaceful transfer of power in our national capitol takes place. Lots of marching bands show up, but no floats or inflated balloons. This is how we know it’s not a football bowl game or holiday parade. If Rick Perry wanted to get a leg up on renewable energy sources, he’d look into ways to harness and recycle the hot air from all the speeches and toasts at the various balls (only three of which President Trump will attend).
The television pundits watching Trump at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier and at the Lincoln Memorial remarked how “he seemed to be settling into the mantle of the presidency as he entered these hallowed spaces.” They hope, but forget our new president’s true self, which is “reality television star.” He can act any part well when he needs to. The rest of America isn’t fooled.
Half of America is already dialing 911 for the trauma response team, while the other half is hoarding the last of their pills and/or guns. These latter ones have yet to decide if they have full on Buyers’ Remorse or just a touch of the Russian Flu. I think if we approach this day from a different point of view, we’ll not only survive, but thrive. On the calendar, January 20th is also Penguin Awareness Day and National Cheese Lovers Day.
Although the Libertarians didn’t get 4% of the popular vote in the 2016 election, a penguin is an unofficial symbol of the United States Libertarian Party. Evidently, more people loved the movie “Happy Feet” than adhere to free thinking political views. Penguins have equality in relationships. In some species, it’s the male penguin which incubates the eggs while females leave to hunt for weeks at a time. Because of this, pudgy males—with enough fat storage to survive weeks without eating—are most desirable. This may explain America’s fascination with our newest tuxedo wearing presidential icon.
While pudginess might describe many of our politicians, equality of relationships isn’t their usual style. This is why over 200,000 women and their supporters marched in protest this Weekend, and why many singers and celebrities were a no show to the festivities. President Trump probably needs to eat more cheese.
For instance, the average American eats almost three times as much cheese today as in 1970. The report’s dairy chart tells us the average U.S. consumer is, at 23 pounds per year, eating more than the occasional cheese dip. In 1970, the number was about eight pounds.
Given President elect Trump’s aversion to Mexico, he could make nice by eating more Taco Bell steak quesadillas, with cheddar, pepper jack, mozzarella and a creamy sauce. “The item used an average of eight times more cheese than other items on their menu,” the Agriculture Department said in a report, extolling Dairy Management’s work — without mentioning that the quesadilla has more than three-quarters of the daily recommended level of saturated fat and sodium. This way he could help Make America Grate Again.
Everyone in Washington will be dressed up in the fancy pants, or the tuxedo. Penguins spend several hours a day preening or caring for their feathers. If penguins don’t keep them well maintained, their feathers would not stay waterproof. For extra protection, penguins spread oil on their feathers. The oil comes from a special gland near their tail feathers.
This year the Republicans hold sway in Washington., so we’ll give them the honor of being the penguin with the highest number of species: the Macaroni Penguin (approximately 11,654,000 pairs). Macaroni Penguins (Eudyptes chrysolophus) get their name from the long, orange, yellow, and black feathery crests above their eyes. They were named after “macaroni dandies,” whose hairstyle was fashionable in the 18th century.
I hope these Macaroni Republicans have ideas more suited to the 21st century, or they’ll find themselves in the minority in two years. The Trump supporters who need to keep their health insurance will want to have their pledge kept, or they’ll defect in a heartbeat.
I’m eating my way through the day, making delicate dishes with unusual flavors for my ordinary meals. It’s not every day we install a new president, even if it’s not the one for which most of the American electorate voted. He may not even be the “one for whom his own supporters voted,” since his mind seems to be fluid, at bes
Finally, an A list singer, but with his lyrics scrambled into a new version just for the occasion will help us get through this very long day, for we will all need some love out in the hinterland:
“Shower The People” by James Taylor, with lyrics rearranged for Inaugural Festivities
TRUMP AND FAMILY:
You can play the game and you can act out the part,
even though you know it wasn’t written for you.
You can run but you cannot hide, this is widely known.
Tell me, what you plan to do with your foolish pride when you’re all by yourself, alone.
Things are gonna work out fine if you only will do as I say, just
shower the people you love with love, show them the way you feel.
Things are gonna be much better if you only will.
Tell me, how can you stand there with your broken heart ashamed of playing the fool?
One thing can lead to another; it doesn’t take any sacrifice.
Oh, father and mother, sister and brother, if it feels nice, don’t think twice,
just shower the people you love with love, show them the way that you feel.
AMERICA:
Once you tell somebody the way that you feel, you can feel it beginning to ease.
I think it’s true what they say about the squeaky wheel always getting the grease.
Better to shower the people you love with love, show them the way that you feel.
Things are gonna be just fine if you only will what I’d like to do to you.
Shower the people you love with love, show them the way that you feel.
Things are gonna be much better if you only will.
EVERYONE SING!!!
Shower the people you love with love, show them the way that you feel.
You’ll feel better right away.
Don’t take much to do, sell your pride.
They say in every life, they say the rain must fall, just like pouring rain, make it rain.
Make it rain, love, love, love is sunshine, oh yes,
Make it rain, love, love, love is sunshine. Everybody, everybody.
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