Strumming my pain with his fingers
Singing my life with his words
Killing me softly with his song
Killing me softly with his song
Telling my whole life with his words
Killing me softly with his song
These are the opening lines of “Killing Me Softly,” a song by Roberta Flack, written by Norman Gimbel and Charles Fox, from back in the 1970’s. Other artists have covered it since, but this is the one I remember best. The ancient British poet William Congreve wrote in a play, The Mourning Bride, in 1697, a saying oft misquoted:
Musick has Charms to sooth a savage Breast,
To soften Rocks, or bend a knotted Oak.
I’ve read, that things inanimate have mov’d,
And, as with living Souls, have been inform’d,
By Magick Numbers and persuasive Sound.
Today we say “Music has charms to soothe a savage beast,” but we no longer think of ourselves as people needing soothing, yet we’re also a society who have high levels of use of alcohol, drug use, and other substance abuse. Much of this activity is a means to dull our pain or calm our inner emotional states so we can interact with others and not cause “a scene.” Unfortunately, when we may use a small amount of any substance at first to make this change, we then discover we need more of the same stuff to cause the same outcome. Then the real drama begins.
After a hard day at work, we face a difficult commute home, a big pile or four of laundry, and a whole family screaming the moment we hit the door, “I’m hungry! What’s for dinner? I could eat a horse! I can’t wait!” And we remember Mr. Crockpot was too sleepy to roll out of bed and get the veggies chopped and get himself plugged in. We might have to fire him or get him an alarm that he can hear in the morning. As we secure our seatbelt for the crawl home, we notice how many fast food joints line our route: McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Burger King, KFC, not to mention Taco Bell.
As an Arkansan, I can relate to this recent study: If you pass by many fast-food outlets on your daily commute, weight gain might be the result, new research shows. People tempted by more fast-food restaurants going to and from work tended to have a higher BMI (body mass index) than people who didn’t. The study involved more than 700 female elementary school employees living in and around New Orleans.
The investigators also found an association between higher BMI and a larger number of supermarkets, grocery stores and fast-food restaurants clustered near people’s homes. Conversely, having a greater number of full-service, sit-down restaurants near your home was associated with a lower BMI, according to the team led by Arizona State University researcher Adriana Dornelles.
The study couldn’t prove cause and effect, but it found “a significant relationship between BMI and multiple food environments,” Dornelles said in a university news release. “In our daily lives, we are exposed to several healthy and unhealthy food choices, which has an impact on BMI. The availability and variety of fast-food restaurants along our commute create endless opportunities for a quick, cheap and unhealthy meal, which results, on average, in higher body mass index,” she said.
In the study, Dornelles’ team tracked the number of supermarkets, grocery stores, full-service restaurants and fast-food restaurants within about a half a mile of the employees’ homes and workplaces.
The researchers also pinpointed the number and type of food stores within a half a mile of the shortest-distance commute path between each employee’s home and workplace. BMI tended to rise along with the number of fast-food outlets and other food sources around a person’s home or on their commute, according to the study published online Aug. 7 in the journal PLOS One.
Two experts in nutrition and weight management weren’t surprised by the findings. The “takeaway” from the study is that, “the larger the number of these [food] establishments, the greater the BMI of the population of the people who live or commute in this area,” said Katrina Hartog, clinical nutrition manager at Lenox Hill Hospital in New York City. Michelle Milgrim is manager of employee wellness at Northwell Health in New Hyde Park, N.Y. She said the new findings should remind people of the pull fast-food has on nutrition choices made every day.
Several ways we can avoid the “siren call of fast food satisfaction” are
1. Change your route home so you don’t see these tempting food cues.
2. Bring a healthy snack from home to eat before you leave for home or go to the grocery store.
3. Practice meal preparation so you have vegetables to microwave, and small portions of precooked meats to reheat.
4. If the kids are hungry, serve dinner in four courses: vegetables, starches, protein, and desserts. Let them share stories from their day as you bring the rest of the meal, but no media at the table.
5. If you eat and cook for one, have some carrots and hummus with a large glass of iced tea. Rest on the couch with your feet up. Then get your meal together, using #3 or #4.
6. Remember, there’s no commandment against eating dessert first, just not the whole pie.
When we’re stressed for time, trying to please others, and attempting to do 37 hours of work in a 24 hour day, we sometimes feel like we’re burning the candle at both ends and the middle both. If we listen to the horrifying events of the news of the world, we wonder how some people can do such terrible acts that cause such harm and come from a deep well of hate. This causes us to feel distressed and anxious, which isn’t pleasant. We don’t sleep well, we’re irritable, and we aren’t the happy campers we think we should be. This causes an existential pain, so we seek relief. Some of us choose talk therapy, exercise, and medications if we have a diagnosed need. Too many of us, however, choose mood altering substances instead. Some of these, such as alcohol and food, are legal, but can be used to excess inappropriately. Others are illegal and problematic from the outset.
No matter what substance we choose to relieve our inner pain, most of us suffer and use substances to relieve one or more of the following issues:
1.Relieve stress—Relying on a substance, which first produces feelings of pleasure, to reduce daily life stressors can impact the likelihood of developing an addiction,. However, frequent use builds tolerance, requiring you to consume more in order to achieve the same effects.
2.Feel good—Consuming a mind altering substance can provide some people a break from reality. It offers a sense of relief from underlying issues your mind may be trying to escape from. However, continual use to get through the day or week can turn into a serious problem.
3.Cope with loss—Losing a family member or friend can take a toll on you emotionally, physically and mentally. A substance, even food, can ease the grief you are feeling and is used to get through difficult times. Depending on it, even temporarily, can spiral into a serious problem.
4.Overcome anxiety—Some people are naturally anxious, causing them to perpetually worry. Using substances that raise endorphins or lower an individual’s inhibitions can make them more comfortable in social situations. Over time though, this can lead to addictive behaviors.
5.Lack of Connection—Many people use because they don’t feel adequately connected to others. They believe that the substance will either fill the void or possibly make it easier for them to forge new bonds. However, the opposite typically ends up being true.
6.Shame—Shame is one of the most difficult emotions for many to cope with, and it is also one of the most traumatic. While alcohol or drugs can temporarily mask shame with false feelings, it also causes many individuals to engage in reckless or foolish behaviors that can later cause them to feel even greater shame, which can cause a downward spiral.
7.Trauma—Treatment experts are seeing some type of trauma in virtually every patient that they treat. There are many forms of trauma, but they are all painful events, in which the victim didn’t have an empathetic witness. For many, treating unresolved trauma is the key to their recovery.
Summary of Hope
If we can recognize a problem, we can take steps to solve it. Sometimes we try to bury our feelings instead of dealing with them. After all, if we can drive through a fast food provider, we can get a tasty treat. We’d like for our problems to be solved just as quickly. Our problems are more complicated than a Big Mac or a Cinnabon—they’re often passed down from generation to generation. We need time, prayer, reflection, and self compassion to rebuild a new, more positive self image.
We are always a people of hope! We have help from a positive community who’ll help our goals come to pass. Ask for help from a caregiver, rather than a second helping of dessert or another round of drinks. Our new life can begin as soon as we want it to.
Joy and Peace, Cornie
Risk Factors for Health Associated With Obesity
Along with being overweight or obese, the following conditions will put you at greater risk for heart disease and other conditions. Also, a person can have weight appropriate for their height and build, but still have these risk factors due to a poor diet or family history/genetics.
• High blood pressure (hypertension)
• High LDL cholesterol (“bad” cholesterol)
• Low HDL cholesterol (“good” cholesterol)
• High triglycerides
• High blood glucose (sugar)
• Family history of premature heart disease
• Physical inactivity
• Cigarette smoking
The U.S. National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute has more on weight and health. https://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/educational/lose_wt/risk.htm
Moderate alcohol use for healthy adults:
Women of all ages and men older than age 65—one drink a day
Men age 65 and younger—up to two drinks a day
Examples of one drink include: Beer: 12 fluid ounces (355 milliliters)
Wine: 5 fluid ounces (148 milliliters)
Ten percent of Americans consume an average of 10 drinks daily
Ten percent of Americans consume an average of 2.2 drinks daily
Thirty percent of Americans consume no alcohol at all.
Michelle Milgrim, R.D., manager, employee wellness, Northwell Health, New Hyde Park, N.Y.; Katrina Hartog, M.P.H., R.D., clinical nutrition manager, Lenox Hill Hospital, New York City; Arizona State University, news release, Aug. 7, 2019